


crawling back to you

by orphan_account



Category: Little Mix (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, jesy and perrie are mentioned, they got kids and shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-22 16:05:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2513762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>or the one where zayn and liam figure it out but not without children and hot theology professors<br/>and niall and jade have three million kids and louis and harry are a wise and happy family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	crawling back to you

**Author's Note:**

> not a stand alone, you should probably read saying things that we cant say first  
> or don't  
> im not your mother  
> *edited*

rafi was twelve the next time zayn ran into liam.

riley was there. leigh anne was no where to be found. zayn nearly turned the other way until rafi yanked his sleeve and drug him over to the girl and her father.

'hey. its me uncle li!' rafi wrapped his noodle arms around liam and riley gave zayn a quick hug.

'its been awhile. every time I drop raf off you aren't there.' liam tried to make conversation but couldn't meet zayns eyes.

'I have to work.' zayn didn't smile at liam.

'right. have to get her back home now.' liam pulled his daughter down the street and left rafi confused and slightly upset.

'every time I talk about you he gets upset.' rafi pouted on the way home from the market.

'he's a grown man, he'll get over it.'

-

in all honesty, louis was tired. he and harry had been up all night with matty. the newborn didn't know how to sleep at night unless it was on harry's chest.

and the calls.

zayn calling at night and "subtly" asking how liam was. or if he could come over to see the babies or to have a cuddle at noon even though they were all in their mid thirties.

'im gonna scream if you call again.' louis mumbled when he answered the phone.

'I saw liam. and I met someone. at the club last week when jade was watching raf. he came up to me and I said yes to a date.' zayn rushed out.

'that's good. it's been twelve years.' louis sat up and harry grumbled and reached for him.

'it was luke. he's still so fit and I want him and I haven't wanted anyone since liam. but at the same time I want liam. but liam is married and im drunk. and niall keeps singing songs about jade and im lonely.' zayn sighed into the phone.

louis rubbed his face tiredly. he'd been receiving these calls since rafi's mom had resurfaced in london and got custody of rafi on the weekends. ever since then zayn had gone out with niall nearly every single weekend he'd had free.

'you have a date with luke.' louis responded with a pinched voice.

harry rolled over and tried to pry the phone out of louis hands.

'luke still wants me. like ME. he's still so young and could have anyone but he wants me.' zayn said in a pitched whisper

'go out with him then. what are you waiting for?' louis rubbed a hand down his face and groaned when he heard crying from the baby monitor.

'zayn. come by tomorrow. matty is crying again and jules is gonna wake up if I don't get him now.' louis said. harry had already rolled out of bed to take care of matty so louis had to go check on jules.

'right sorry. I have to go anyway. I pick up rafi in the morning.' zayn hung up without saying goodbye.

\---

'riley asked if I could come over today.' rafi gave his dad puppy eyes.

'sure. am I dropping you off again or is niall coming by and dropping you off later?' zayn finished washing dishes and turned to face rafi.

'uncle li is coming by to take me and riley out for ice cream and a film.' rafi worried his bottom lip between his teeth when he said that.

'ok. go get dressed. I have work to do today anyway.' zayn smiled at his son as he ran off to get gussied up for a day on the town with his best mate.

zayn realized he had become great at concealing his feelings. and hiding from liam. he went through six years of constant avoidance. even with rafi and riley being best mates, he was able to avoid any and all contact with the the man his heart still burned for.

until a couple weeks ago when he ran into liam and riley on the street.

he sees him everywhere now. and leigh. she is so beautiful and fucking pregnant again. and happy. and zayn is...is...so sad. he thought anger would be his first emotion. not fucking sadness. he isn't a teenage girl. he isn't jealous. he thinks its probably because its something he knows he'll never have.

\----

zayn answered the doorbell and hour later to liam and riley standing there.

'hey. um, come on in. rafi is still getting ready. I think he's putting on cologne. for you riley.' zayn chuckled as riley shot up the stairs to make fun of rafi.

'hi.' liam looked hopefully up at zayn.

'hey. congrats.' zayn forced a smile.

'oh. yeah. leigh is really happy. been wanting another baby for a while now.'

'rafi's mum has been calling a lot. but rafi said he doesn't want to see her again. she left him in the backseat of her car last time. just forgot about him. ' zayn didn't know why he just told him that. liam always had that kind of face.

and he looked great. in his expensive clothes and fancy cologne. his cool sneakers. he looked very different. from when they young. like that time they went on holiday with their families and liam took his supras. only they got wet and he had to blow dry them in the hotel room they shared.

zayn loved him a lot back then too.

'i think riley was trying to impress rafi. asked her mum for mascara this morning.' liam said interrupting zayn's train of thought.

'growing up too quick yeah?' zayn joked.

'absolutely. don't wanna lose her yet.'

'yeah. I want rafi to stay small. don't know what im gonna do when he's gone. my only distraction really.'

riley and rafi came giggling down the stairs.

'have fun. call if you wanna stay the night.' zayn handed rafi his prepaid phone and ushered everyone out the house.

'zayn. wait. do you want to go out with, um, me and leigh and perrie and jesy?' liam asked.

'do you mind if I bring a date?'

'yeah. of course. um, yeah. is that a yes?'

'yes.'

\---

'i agreed to this and I haven't even called luke in three weeks.'

louis sighed at zayn as he watched his daughter play with the other children on the playground.

'zayn. shut up. you are literally the most beautiful man I've ever met. find a date.'

'i don't think he's all that beautiful. ' harry mumbled

'im nervous. what do I do?' zayn chewed on his bottom lip.

'act like you're friends. just be normal. Jesus zayn he doesn't run your life.' louis sighed exasperated

'im sorry. just. I whine a lot.' zayn grimaced.

'no. its...it is tiring.' louis said.

'we...we have what we have at this point. you decided not to do anything about you and liam and you're here now.'

'and its too late to run away like I did before. running was so much easier.' zayn smiled sadly.

'i haven't an idea what im doing half the time you know. with me and harry and the kids. I just try to get through the day without fucking up too bad. and in the end they still love me.' louis told zayn while bouncing matty on one knee.

louis talked some shit sometimes but when it came down to the wire; he always pulled through.

\---

'do you ever wish we could move close to grandma again?' zayn asked rafi over dinner at nandos later that day.

'yeah but then I remember how happy I am here. with you and all my uncles. and riley.' rafi kicked his feet back and forth as he stuffed his mouth with chips.

'okay. um, that's awesome. is riley your girlfriend? '

'that's disgusting. she's like my sister. the girl who works at the ice cream shop is pretty. she's thirteen. like riley. and her mum lets her wear makeup.'

zayn frowned. he thought he'd had a pretty good radar for this type of thing. it sure as hell didn't help him all those years ago. so maybe he shouldn't rely on it as much anymore.

'so who was riley all dolled up for?' zayn asked curiously

'um, the girl too. riley has a crush on her but I think she likes me more than riley.'

'riley likes girls?'

'yeah. she doesn't think its any different from liking a boy. she said that boys are mean and stupid so she doesn't like them. and that girls are prettier and have nice lips.'

'huh.'

'i don't care either way. she likes me so that's good enough for me.'

zayn watched rafi curiously for a few moments.

'would you care if I liked boys like riley likes girls?'

'like you like uncle li?'

'no! I don't like liam!' zayn choked on a piece of chicken.

'yeah okay. riley told me that her mom and dad were arguing about how liam still likes you and stuff. riley told me that she's scared her mom and dad are going to get divorced like the kids down the street.'

'rafi. its none of my business or yours.' zayn swallowed the last of his meal.

'sorry. riley just said she'd want you to be her dad too because her dad talks about you a lot.'

'enough.'

zayn gathered his and rafi's things to leave the restaurant

'i didnt mean to make you mad, baba.' rafi looked up at zayn with wide hazel eyes.

'no. you didnt im just...going through things right now. its kind of hard but...never mind. '

zayn was quiet as they walked back to their small townhouse.

\---

'hey.' niall slid onto the bar stool beside zayn's and ordered his drink.

'hey. hows jade?'

'wants another baby. number five already. frankie is barely three. I don't know what to do with her.'

zayn laughed at niall. he knew jade would get what she wanted anyway.

'kimmy is fifteen man. how is she working out for ya?'

'she's awful. just like her mum. always running her mouth and thinks she's smarter than me. she is. but I can't let her know that yet. and the boys. always crying about some prepubescent twat that kissed her friend even though he said he liked her. girls mate.'

'you got all them boys though. joe and stu and them.' zayn took a swig of his beer.

'you forgot my sweet baby boy frankie. you chode.' niall cackled.

'frankie is a menace. just like you. and you let louis watch him too much. got a mouth on that one.'

'gets it from me. taught him to say arse pimple.'

zayn laughed loudly and punched niall on the shoulder.

he missed this time. when it was just him and niall. when louis wasn't bitching at him for bitching about liam. niall was common ground. the one he went to when he just needed a break from these overwhelming black clouds of fear and disappointment that followed him everywhere. niall was like sunshine that broke through the clouds and made everyone around him jovial. zayn figured it would have been a lot easier to fall in love with niall. even if niall had rejected him it would have been with a smile on his face and kiss on the cheek.

'you want another boy then?'

'nah. girl. they're so beautiful at that age. so cute and she'd love me. kiss my cheek all the time like kimmy does and give me cute little drawings I can hang in my office.' niall told zayn with shining blue eyes and small smile.

'im glad you're happy.'

'so louis told me you're looking to date again. gonna go and have a fun night with fit lad. or lass. I don't know what you're into these days.'

'luke. I think im gonna go out with him. give it a go.'

'he cheated on you.'

if zayn could describe niall in one word it would be blunt.

'years ago. like fifteen years ago.'

'and suddenly he wants to go out with you or does he want to have a go about in bed with you.'

'i don't know niall. we were both young idiots back then."

'yeah. but you loved him and he hurt you. you don't have to trust him with your heart again. he doesn't deserve it.'

zayn knew niall was right was the thing. it just hurt knowing that people didn't trust him by himself anymore.

'zayn. you aren't a shitty person. you're an amazing dad and teacher. you love what you do and you've made a home for your son. now its time to make a home for yourself.' niall threw his arm around zayn's skinny shoulder and squeezed reassuringly.

'im worth something. I deserve to be happy.'

'right mate. go sign up for one of them dating websites.'

'im not doing that.'

\---

name: zayn malik

sex: male

preference: male or female

interests: art, comics, community values and political and social injustice debates. and dogs.

'mate, you're never going to get a date.' louis laughed at his match.com profile.

'yes I will. they'll be smart and funny and will understand.'

'i don't get how you like all those things and fell in love with liam.' louis wondered out loud.

'i was young and dumb.'

'it was two weeks ago.'

'exactly. '

zayn shut his laptop and sighed dramatically. not without sending in the application though.

'do you think im gonna find someone?' zayn looked up louis who was pacing back and forth with matty in his arms. the pacing put him to sleep for some reason.

'yeah. of course. you just haven't put yourself out there. like you should. take risks and shit you know.'

'right. risks. just not with women. don't need another kid. oh wait. that's a good. idea. I could adopt. or be a foster parent. oh my god louis!' zayn jumped off the couch.

'hold on there. another kid?'

'YES! rafi will be gone in six years and then what will I do? start a relationship? no sir.' zayn was grinning like a madman.

'why? another kid is just another distraction from how lonely you are, z.' louis set matty down in his crib beside the couch and walked over to zayn.

'maybe you'll meet someone with this whole online dating thing. maybe you'll be less lonely. you have that thing with leigh and liam next weekend maybe you'll meet the love of your life. just give it a go. you never know.'

'fine.'

\---

zayn had four notifications when he woke up the next morning.

all from match.com

james barlow

michael clifford

ashton irwin

brad stevens

all singles near you that want to meet!

zayn knew that ashton from somewhere. he just couldn't place it. but he clicked on all the profiles anyway.

james was very attractive. he had short black hair that had that sexy sort of just rolled out of bed look.

he was also a professor of theology. he was most definitely zayn's type.

michael was attractive in an odd way. he had dark hair that looked like it had been through a lot. his hairline was receding but zayn was still interested which was a miracle in itself.

ashton was cute. he had large eyes and these dimples that could rival harrys. he looked very familiar though. but zayn still couldn't place him.

brad was forty and overweight. zayn also had a feeling he was married.

he deleted brads request immediately.

\---

its three days until liam and leigh anne's night out thing. and zayn finally decided on inviting out james. james was older and more accomplished and even had a son and daughter from a previous marriage. he listed on the profile that he was looking for a serious relationship.

zayn was to meet james at a restaurant three blocks down from his and rafi's flat. rafi was over at louis and harry's for game night. louis took it very seriously.

james was already there when zayn entered the coffee shop.

he looked even better in person than he did in the online profiles. zayn couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief at that. he may or may not have had a small tingling fear that he was an old pervert. or that brad had made a fake profile.

anyway, james was pleasant. he and zayn held a conversation. which was more than he could do with liam these days. or than what he could ever do with luke.

so he invited james out for date night. he just hoped it wouldn't be as awkward as he was dreading.

\---

'rafi. im going on a date. with a lovely man. I want to impress him.'

'looking at the wrong fella. ask uncle lou. boys are weird. they always change their minds and then change it again. its dumb.'

'are you having some troubles?' zayn laughed at his sons bitter tone.

'kimmy told me a boy liked her. and then he stopped talking to her and just made fun of her all the time. then he'd go see her after school and I saw them together behind the school. when I asked her why she is with a boy who is always mean to her. she said its because he loved her. and that he wanted to protect her.'

'that's not what love is. is that why you're so upset?'

'yeah. if he loved her why would he treat her like that. I know that kimmy doesn't think she's pretty and that boys pick on her because she has a lisp. but she's so smart and nice and deserves more than some dumb boy can give her.'

'that's very true, rafi. but you can't convince her of that. she has to realize it herself.'

'i guess im a little jealous. kimmy is very nice all the time. and she doesn't treat me like a baby. im almost thirteen now. im basically a man. I can be a man for her don't you think?' rafi looked up at zayn expectantly.

'um, you're kind of young, raf. you are still in middle school.'

'im in eighth grade! she's a tenth grader. not that many years, baba. riley always says age is but a number when she looks at pictures of sandra bullock.'

'that's true. but maybe with a little time she'll realize that too.' zayn was trying very hard not to laugh at the absurd turn this conversation took.

'you look really nice by the way.' rafi said.

'good. now kimmy is coming over to watch you. so if you put any moves on her, keep it pg.' zayn kissed rafi's head and darted up the stairs to spritz some cologne on and make his hair look artfully disheveled.

'im off. bed by eleven and homework on the table by nine and no adult channels young man.' zayn rushed out the door with a wave to kimmy in the driveway before jumping behind the wheel and speeding off to the restaurant, already five minutes late.

\---

'so what is it you do, james?' liam asked politely as they waited for their dinner.

liam had been sending zayn questioning glances across the table all dinner and zayn had no idea what to make of them. liam was polite to james. but often asked rude questions and pointedly laughed at one of the older gentleman's answers to a small debate they had.

and zayn was ticked off to say the least.

'im a professor of theology at manchester university.'

'oh. that's lovely. isn't theology about the bible and such?' leigh anne asked.

she was still lovely and kind and the exact type of woman zayn imagined liam ending up with his entire life. and having missed her pregnancy before, zayn felt honored to see her like this. she glowed so beautifully and seemed to radiate happiness and contentment.

zayn thought he might have fallen a little bit in love with her just then.

'yes. I study it. im not a devoutly religious man but the story of the bible is so complex and has such an impact on modern life. im simply fascinated by it. I believe it to be a marvel in literature.'

zayn smiled at james. he liked it when he was passionate. he didn't think people were passionate enough anymore. passion severely lacked in the world.

but james was gorgeous when he spoke. his voice deep and velvety. but so smooth and confident. james was a marvel in himself.

liam coughed awkwardly. and rolled his eyes as james spoke. zayn felt a surge of anger flow through him.

'liam can I talk to you for a moment?' zayn stood up without hearing liams hum of approval.

'hes a right knob, yeah?' liam joked as soon as zayn was within ear shot.

'no. hes great guy that im having a fantastic time with. hes nice and funny and I can fucking talk to him. im trying to start something with this great man who is not you...' zayn swallowed and spun away before liam could say anything.

'just stop acting like a cunt.' zayn whispered to liam before they got to the table.

liam ignored any attempt at conversation by james for the rest of the night.

\---

'niall I need you to watch rafi tonight.' zayn said as he rushed out the school to get ready for his date that night.

'james again. you finally gonna blow him. start a financially stable relationship with an older fiscally responsible man?'

'yeah. im dropping rafi off at seven.'

'jades pregnant again. she says its a girl.'

zayn stopped in the middle of the hallway.

'im gonna have a baby girl to spoil. I cant believe. im so happy. im gonna be a godfather.' zayn squealed into the phone.

'um. no. you're the god father for all of my other children. so its gonna be louis this time.'

'niall james horan you piece of shit. that's my title. im the godfather of louis and harry's kids! this is my thing. im such a good dad.'

'rafi is my god son so. no.'

'asshole.'

'tata. jade just got sick in the kitchen. I have to go, love you bye.'

zayn chuckled at the phone as he left the main building and went to get in his car.

ever since the date night last month, he and james had seen each other as often as possible. rafi met him one night by accident when he answered the door before zayn. zayn had yet to meet either of james' s children.

he drove home and found liam's car in the driveway.

he called rafi's name as he walked through the door.

'baba! uncle li drove me home.' rafi ran out the kitchen and wrapped his arms around his father.

'oh. well. have you had dinner yet? I have to drop you off at niall's in two hours.' 

'i don't wanna. kimmy will be there. she and that boy are still hanging out.' rafi looked down at the carpet with sad eyes.

'rafiq, im sure she's sorry about what she said.'

'she called me a dumb kid. she hurt my feelings. it doesn't matter anyway. the boy is moving away. so...I dunno.'

'beta, you are fine. she is a fifteen year old. very emotional. very jaded. I was like that before.'

'now you're emotionally jaded. uncle harry says that all the time. and romantically.'

'harrys a piece of shit so don't listen to him.'

rafi laughed and skipped up the stairs to get his homework done before he went over. he liked to play with the other boys before bed.

'i could watch him you know.' liam said from the doorway to the kitchen.

'no. I've already called niall.' zayn walked passed liam to open his fridge. he figured rafi hadn't eaten yet. it was a little early.

'leigh is out of town. went to see her mum and dad. riley is at a friends. might be pretty wicked to spend time with rafi.'

'no. just go. I really don't want to talk to you.' zayn pulled leftover spaghetti out and set it on the counter with more force than necessary.

'did I do something?'

'i hate how you always seem to want to ruin everything that makes me happy. you rub your cookie cutter family in my face all the time but as soon as someone looks at me you're there telling me how much of a twat they look like. just leave me alone.' zayn's hand shook as he took a plate out of the cabinet.

just as he turned around, liam surged forward and kissed him.

zayn shoved him off.

liam stood breathing heavily in the middle of the small kitchen.

'i need you to go.' zayn said softly

'zayn. im so sorry. I didn't know it would be like this. I don't want to hurt you. im so sorry. please just.'

'just what? you're married. with a child on the way. what the fuck is wrong with you?' zayn wanted to shout. he wanted to wrap his hands around his throat and watch as the breath leaves him.

'im still in love with you too. I want to be with you.' liam pleaded with wide sad eyes.

'liam. go.'

'im sorry.'

\----

"he's a married man, z. why would a married man kiss you?" louis said.

zayn had asked himself the same question recently. it had been several weeks since he and liam had spoken. since liam kissed him.

zayn honestly didn't really get what was happening between the two of them. he had heard from jesy the other day the leigh was going to move away while liam stayed behind to manage his dentists office. she didn't know who was keeping the kids.

to zayn, it sounded eerily like a divorce. but who had a baby as they're getting a divorce? seems kinda fucked up.

but zayn does have a son with a woman he barely knows so who is he to judge.

'i think you should talk to him. he told me he was sorry the other day.' harry said from the kitchen. little matty was balanced on his hip as he stirred pasta sauce.

'its nice that he told you that. is it time to eat yet?'

'zayn don't be an arse.'

'your daughter is six and your son is barely out of the womb, watch your mouths.'

'i can fucking swear in my own house you cock.' louis turned away from zayn to scold jules for saying cock repeatedly.

'you did it to yourself.'

'liam needs a chance to explain himself. I mean you gave luke a second chance.' harry said softly

'luke wasn't married.'

'he was engaged.'

'yeah, his name was ashlen. ashton!' louis shouted in his daughters ear on accident

'papa! my ear!' jules cried.

'oh, sorry love. so sorry.' louis patted the side of her head.

'fuck. that's how I remember him.' zayn laughed

'what?'

'when luke was with that guy in his flat! his ex was one of my matches on match.com. like james. thats hilarious.' zayn laughed to himself as harry and louis stared at him in curiosity.

'how is james?' louis asked.

'great. hes back with his ex wife or whatever. he wasn't looking for anything serious apparently.'

'im sorry zayn.' harry said as he put matty in his high chair so he could set the table.

'rafi is still mad at me for yelling at liam. said I was tearing the family apart. I dunno what to make of that.'

'nothing is going the way you want it. maybe just...i dunno.' louis shrugged and sagged his shoulders.

'i would have been better off adopting like i said before.'

'im sorry.' louis said again with a sad smile.

'nah. just...love was never meant for me.' zayn stood up to go to the bathroom, missing the look exchanged between harry and louis behind his back.

\----

'riley said her mom is having the baby in a month and then she has to go stay with her grandma for a while.' rafi told zayn over dinner at the house one night.

it'd been three months since zayn had last talked to liam. and a week since he last slept with james. in hindsight that was a bad idea seeing as he was rekindling his romance with his wife but zayn hadn't gotten laid in years so it was worth it in the end, he supposes.

'thats lovely.'

'she said uncle li has been really sad lately.'

'okay. um, I hope he feels better?' zayn didn't know exactly how to answer his son. rafi had never spoken about liam as much as he did this week.

'yeah. um, like, riley told me they're getting a divorce. she said they don't kiss anymore and uncle li isn't ever smiling like he did when she was little.'

'rafi. this is none of our business.'

'riley is scared that they'll move away and leave her dad alone. she said-'

'rafi.' zayn said sharply and gave his son a look

'sorry. uncle ni just said that liam has always been in love with you and thats why him and auntie leigh would never work and stuff about destiny and the stars like him and aunt jade.'

'your uncle ni is a shit.' zayn scooped some chicken into his mouth.

'you said that about uncle harry too.'

'all of them are.'

\----

it was a gloomy morning when zayn heard a knock on the door nearly six months after he last spoke to liam.

he was beginning to realize he measured time in encounters with liam.

it was early. and summer break so there was no reason for anyone to be knocking on the door. if anyone it'd be james trying to win him back after finally signing his divorce papers.

zayn would take him back. if only for a good fuck and his steady bank account. but harry said that was pessimistic and he needed to find someone who wouldn't be a whisper of promises in a dark room.

he opened the front door of his tiny home after stumbling down the stairs shirtless, bleary and slightly hungover.

liam was standing there with a baby and riley staring up innocently at him.

'what.' zayn said wiping the sleep from his eyes.

'leigh has gone and flown off to florida in the midst of a mid life crisis and in a bout of postpartum depression and I need someone to watch riley and geoffrey while I fly to florida to bring her back.'

'that was wild and outlandish and where is leigh really?' zayn said with a straight face.

'she left me.'

liam bit his lip and sighed. he looked awful. with red rimmed eyes and rumpled clothes.

'they can stay. just get yourself together. for them.' zayn ushered riley in the house while he took baby geoffrey in his arms.

'i have his carriage and a pen for him to sleep in. its just been hard since she left. just left me with the kids, like it was nothing. she said she was tired. I don't know what that means and i cant fix it.' liam said in one breath after zayn had set up geoffrey's pin in the living room and riley was napping up in rafi's room since he was with louis and harry that day.

'liam. why do you think she left?' zayn's heart beat fast in his chest. the anticipation of the answer sending adrenaline rushing through his veins.

'im not a good husband. she told me I don't listen very well and that im always forgetting things and it makes her angry.'

zayns chest sank as liam said that. the man was just as daft as the day met and didn't know what the difference between a toad and a tadpole.

'yeah. well she ran off with someone else didn't she?' zayn said bitterly which he immediately felt bad about, seeing as this was not in fact about him.

'um, yeah. perrie and jesy are cross with her. as is jade. she's quite scary when she's pregnant.' liam chuckled hollowly.

'she'll come 'round. you've never loved anyone like you loved her.' zayn didn't look liam in the eye as he said that.

\----

riley and geoffrey stayed at zayns for two weeks. rafi loved it. liam and leigh were working things out.

zayn had never felt more bitter in his life.

\----

'i still love him. im a fucking idiot.' zayn slurred into his cellphone on late saturday night when rafi was visiting his grandma in Bradford.

'umhm. this is about james? you love james.' louis said distractedly on the other line.

'no louis. you know who!'

'louis- this isn-'

'liam you twat! he came here with all his children and now he loves leigh anne again and he doesn't even thank me for taking care of his kids for two weeks? who does he think he is? its like he knows I love him and like...its hard because even rafi knows and I haven't been this sad since rafi was born. like I was happy because my beta, and i love him but I thought liam would never want to-'

'this is liam.'

'fuck.' zayn hung up right after.

liam called three times before zayn silenced his phone and fell asleep at his kitchen table.

\----

'have you called him back?' louis asked the next morning when he stopped by with his children in tow. harry was out of town to a music festival with his friend nick. louis knew nick still had a crush on harry and harry was too stubborn to argue down.

'who?' zayn knew exactly who.

'liam you literal twelve year old.' louis slapped zayn softly against the head while cradling matty to his chest.

'i have not. in fact im never speaking to him again. he's with leigh anne again and after james, I don't fancy being a homewrecker much.'

'james was a hot ass mess. that man was just after your arse, zayn. fell in love with your body and not your mind, which is extremely unfortunate. seeing as you are one of the smartest people I know. aside from harry.' louis set matty down in his high chair, actually rafi's old one, and the eleven month old slapped his hands down in a small puddle of applesauce in the chair.

'haz is an idiot.'

louis gave him a steely glare.

'im scared.' zayn answered truthfully.

'won't know unless you call him back.' louis glanced at his phone before going off to wipe the sticky food off of matty's stubby fingers.

\----

zayn didn't hear from liam for a week. riley seemed to randomly appear on his doorstep with sad brown eyes.

rafi wasn't talking to him. apparently everyone was siding with liam on this one. which zayn thought to be beyond unfair but no one seemed to want to listen to him.

one day zayn received a very odd call from none other than leigh anne.

'this is going to sound odd but I need to meet with you.' she said as soon as he picked up the phone.

and honestly that was the most she's ever said to him in one sitting.

'um. okay? is everything alright?' zayn asked

'just want a quick chat with a pal! meet me at you and liam's regular spot in an hour.' she hung up.

zayn wondered when the coffee shop became his and liam's.

\----

'ive just had a baby and im married to a man who doesn't love me anymore.' was the first thing to come out of leigh anne's mouth as zayn sat down in a corner booth.

'well...ive been good. single life is well. rafi is good. um, school starts soon. gettin lesson plans ready and all that.' zayn said to himself, annoyed by leigh anne's conversational skills.

'zayn, im want you to know that me and liam separated over a year ago.' leigh anne said.

zayn froze in his seat.

'what?'

'liam is an idiot. I am too. we thought if we had a baby it would bring back some of the old passion and all its done is give liam an excuse to ignore you.' leigh anne sipped her latte and moaned

'i fucking missed these. no caffeine when im pregnant. it fucking sucks. this is so good.'

'why didn't he tell me?' zayn was slightly angry.

'he's an idiot.' leigh anne shrugged.

'i think a good time to tell me that is before you snog me against my kitchen counter. could have saved a lot of time. I could have been fucking him by now. hes so fucking dumb.' zayn slammed his head on the table and heard the old lady behind him grumble at him.

'i said the same thing. he thinks you hate him. and I was in the room with him when he got that drunk call. was all weepy and the like. didn't want to scare you off. he doesn't listen to me when I call him dumb.' leigh anne chuckled.

'i need to talk to him.'

'hes at the house. im off to my new house. im a bachelorette. even though I just had a baby with a man im legally still married to. im back out there and ready for action.' leigh anne stood up, slammed her hand on the table and waved goodbye to zayn as she left and accidentally knocked over a display of cups.

zayn didn't care. he had a mission.

operation: get liam back was a go.

\----

when zayn got to the house, he realized two things.

one; liam was still in love with him

and two; liam is a great father.

liam was on the front porch with baby geoffrey in his lap and watched as loki and their new puppy hobbled around the yard. rafi and riley were sat next to each other whispering.

'zayn, oh hi. um, I thought rafi was spending the night.' liam stood up 

'he is im here to. um, tell you that you're an idiot.' zayn said.

'thanks. I don't follow.' liam said with his confused scowl.

'i mean. its not. you are...not with leigh anne anymore.'

'how did you? did she tell you? she told me she wasn't going to say anything!'

'she told me and then ran out of the cafe like a loon. said she was a bachelorette and was going to get some.'

'she's quite adventurous.'

'im still in love with you too.' zayn said honestly.

'zayn, I don't know. what if was fuck this all up again. I don't want to be that type of person. I don't want to be another person to disappoint you.'

'just don't lie to me. don't run out the second you tell me what you're feeling because you're scared. I ran away but you did too.' zayn felt his eyes well up. he didn't want to cry.

'you wanna give it another go?' liam stared at zayn with wide eyes. it reminded zayn of when they were eighteen and zayn had kissed liam on the cheek in front of the mistletoe.

'yeah. I love you, you donut.'

\-----

5 years later

it was their anniversary. liam was sweating bullets. it was the night he'd dreamt about since he was sixteen.

zayn wasn't exactly romantic. the first time he and liam had sex was on the kitchen floor of his townhouse. and right after he patted liam on the chest and said good game. it wasn't at all as liam had imagined.

so liam felt that if anyone was going to propose it was going to be him.

with rafi and riley at university. and geoffrey off at niall's it left him and zayn alone all night.

'zayn, love, I have to ask you something.' liam said nervously.

'im not going to have an orgy with louis and harry. I don't care how many times they suggest im never giving in.' zayn didn't look up from grading papers.

'zee, stop grading and look at me please.' his voice shook as he said this.

''you okay?' zayn took his glasses off.

'yeah. um, I want to. we've been together five years. and every morning I wake up happier than the last. I don't want to wake up with anyone else beside me. I cant imagine anyone else I would raise my children with. and I couldn't imagine not being on this earth without you. so, zayn, will you marry me?'

'of fucking course ill marry you. jesus, li, I thought you were going to tell me my mum died. fuck.' zayn pulled liam over to him.

'i was going to kneel but you're such an dick. you don't ever listen.' liam smiled as he kissed his fiance.

' now im your dick forever.'

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading. this took about five months. and no beta.  
> some math is inaccurate but im lazy  
> that ending was wack af i know plaes no judge  
> gud nite


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